In this world, Magic is Everything. All people, all races, are granted with the power to perform mystical and magical feats via grimories, mystical tomes granted to each and every child on their 15th birthday. Those blessed by the mana can have their names written down in legend.
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Post by Bradwynne Lambert on Aug 2, 2020 12:36:45 GMT -5
Bradwynne had been contemplating on his faults for a long time, as he visited the church grounds in Kiten. Someone in Hage had told him that this person could be the one that could help him, as the person was once an orphan who witnessed the slaying of his parents before he was in his current pedestal. Bradwynne did not know if this Father Daniel could relate to his current situation, but it should be worth the try. It was the lowest situation of the low that he was in, and he thought it would not get lower for a person like him. To be frank in his assessments of his current character, he was not himself when he did those acts, and he should have known better than to sink in with his terrible display of character. He could have easily blamed it to that abominable devil that had caused the Shattering, but it was not the Devil who made those deplorable acts towards others, it was him. Because of his insatiable thirst for revenge against the people who had killed his family, he had given himself in to anger, hurting even those who once cared for him. If his parents and siblings would see him in this state, they would instantly reprimand him that it was not like him to be like this. And he knew it. He tried to suppress his anger, but it always ended in him breaking things, hurting people, and apologizing for it. Quite a number of people who knew these random paroxysms of his had tolerated him and tried to sooth his mind, but he could only think that eventually even the ones who loved him the most would decide to leave him if he continued being lost in anger. He did not want this. He wanted to stop this as soon as possible. He did not want more people getting hurt by his actions. He was sick and tired of apologizing to other people telling them it would not happen ever again, as he knew he might be telling a lie and would do it again anyway. He wanted to be like his own self again; he wanted to give trust to other people without asking them to return the favor.
And so Bradwynne found himself within the church. He really hoped that Father Daniel was inside, so that he could help him in his current predicament. He then offered a prayer to The Four Gods so that his current journey would be successful, and he then approached a deacon in the area to ask if Father Daniel was around. As the deacon said yes, and moved towards the back of the church so that he could notify Father Daniel, he then continued in his fervent prayers to always reject the sweet wiles of his desires so that he could move on from every problem that he had faced.
Post by Bradwynne Lambert on Aug 4, 2020 9:33:51 GMT -5
As Bradwynne continued to pray for the demons that had haunted him since that incident to leave him alone, the deacon that he had talked with returned to the church grounds and beckoned Bradwynne to move to the priest's chambers so that he could tell the priest the innermost desires of his heart. Partly relieved due to being able to talk to the priest that could counsel him about the matter, Bradwynne accompanied the deacon to the priest's chambers, where Father Daniel had been waiting, with a platter of fruit on the table where he situated himself.
The priest then started, as Bradwynne took a seat across him, "I humbly welcome you, wayward soul, to the Church of Clover in Kiten. Silvanus had mentioned about your ordeal in Hage in his letters to me, and I do know that you have been sent to here by him. He had already commended your service there, and I could relate upon what you are experiencing right now. However, there could only be so much that Silvanus know about what you are really experiencing, and so, I implore you to tell me all about it."
Bradwynne then responded to the priest. "Thank you for sparing some of your precious time to listen to my confession, Father Daniel. I have committed too many sins against a lot of people, that I thought I have no way out of it. I want to be freed from this anger and thirst for revenge, as I knew that revenge is just a cycle that will end up hurting too much people on its way. I do not want any more people to be affected by my own issues..." He then hung his head as his right hand then covered his eyes filled with tears. He had tried to hold back on the tears, but it freely flew on his cheeks and down to his chin. Father Daniel witnessed all of these, as he then had his right hand pat Bradwynne's shoulder.
"I knew that Silvanus had told me about this in his letters, but I did not know that it really ran so deep into your body," Father Daniel consoled Bradwynne. "Sometimes the feeling of forcefully witnessing your family being butchered in front of you, as the people who did that thing reveled in their sensual pleasures, could be really hard to cope with. And when you have the knowledge of who was the murderer, you want to have that person witness the same as what you have felt. Sometimes your anger will spill over and you lash out against anything that caught your ire, and then you wake up from your stupor and realized that you have hurt someone close to you. And the cycle continues as you sink deeper and deeper into your sin until you think that there would be no way out for you. You will just content yourself into reasoning out that whenever your anger claimed yet another person, you reason to yourself that the devil is influencing each and every action you take, and there is no way of escape from that demon. You might think of that, but you have already realized that you are only deluding yourself this way, so there is still hope for you even when you think that it would be impossible to go up from whatever rut you are. In fact, there is still hope for each and every one of us as long as the Four Gods still have their sway."
As the mention of the Four Gods passed by his ears, Bradwynne, gritting his teeth, started to become furious. "But I have already prayed to the Four Gods that I would be given strength to oppose the demons within me, especially that devil which had been goading me to eradicate the whole family of those who had wronged me, but each and every time I have been falling to the temptation of being angry and distrustful towards other people, even with those who I had cherished my whole life! Even when I try to go to the church, pray and listen to every sermon, even when I try to help out those who are managing the church orphanage, still those demons followed me. Have I really done anything blasphemous towards the Four Gods that they left me suffering from these evil thoughts?! I have been trying to be a good man all my life, and still these evil thoughts have still triumphed from time to time!" Bradwynne then was about to pound the table with his fist, but before the fist landed on the table, Father Daniel caught it with his hand.
"Now understand this," Father Daniel said in between gritted teeth while he was trying to restrain Bradwynne, "The mind is in constant battle between good and evil. It is not necessarily correct that if you have done a lot of good things, then you are immune from evil. In fact it is the most pious people that will be challenged with a huge evil within their minds. But do not fret about this, the Gods will not give you an ordeal which could you could not conquer. In fact, as I have stated earlier, you have already known that you are deluding yourself in thinking that you can not escape from your situation. If not, then you would have not come here to talk with me, right?"
"That is right, but..."
"There is never a but into this. By trying to talk with someone that you think will be a solution for you to stop sinning anymore, you are already counted among the victors in the eyes of the Gods. I am telling you this, without you knowing about it, the Gods have received each and every prayer you have uttered, and have already granted it, so do not worry about it too much. So, every time you enter the battle with those demons within your mind, treat yourself as already victorious against them and deny all their wiles by the grace of the Gods. That way you will always have a peace of mind. If you are still having a problem after that, you can always come back to me and tell me what went wrong."
As Father Daniel had said those words, the fist that was struggling to pound the table, now softened as both people withdrew their hands. Bradwynne then said, "I thank you for the wise words, Father Daniel. I will try to follow your suggestion whenever I feel irrationally angry towards other people."
Father Daniel answered, "You are always welcome. But I do wonder what really happened within your entire life such that you felt that way towards other people. If you would like, I can listen on to the whole story of your life. Silvanus had said that I might relate from your tales, but if you are not comfortable sharing it with me, I can understand. I might have an inkling on how worse can that tale be to you, so if you can not tell it to me, I will not ask any further."
Bradwynne then replied hurriedly, "Oh no no no, that is okay with me. I am sorry for lashing out at you, I can see that you are an understanding enough of a person, so I can share it to you as my apology for being angry again..." A sound of a stomach rumbling could be heard, and Father Daniel laughed at that sound.
"It seems that you have been hungry from the journey that led you to here," Father Daniel then said after a short laughter. "I also knew that it will take a long time if we talked all about it, so I have already prepared a dinner of fruit beforehand. These were just the fresh harvest from our orphanage orchard, so pardon my apparent lack of hospitality. If you do not mind, I implore you to have some so that your hunger will be sated. As for the story, we will talk about it over this dinner as I can perceive that it will be a really long one." He then presented the platter of fruit on the table to Bradwynne.
Bradwynne looked at the platter that was presented to him: It certainly was a huge platter, and the fruits that were on the platter, especially the grapes and the pears, looked really succulent enough that Bradwynne took a second look at the platter to see if he really was within the church or the dinner table of some noble. He then stared at Father Daniel, and then at the platter again.
He then said, "I humbly thank you for the meal, Father Daniel," as he took one of the pears and then started biting into it. Not only did it looked succulent, it really tasted great as well. After finishing off the pear with quick bites, he then picked up a cluster of grapes. "Now that I think of it, it is really nostalgic seeing these grapes again." As Bradwynne's eyes continued to stare towards the grapes, it became flooded again with tears. Father Daniel watched Bradwynne with concern as he said those words.
"Did your family own an orchard or something?" Father Daniel inquired as he sensed something within the words of Bradwynne as he stared at the grapes. "Or was it that your family was one of the winemakers?"
Post by Bradwynne Lambert on Aug 6, 2020 19:03:59 GMT -5
As Bradwynne heard that question from Father Daniel, he had noticed that he was tearing up again. He then quickly wiped off his tears and then faced Father Daniel again. He then replied, "It was both things actually, we do grow the grapes that we use for making wine. Aside from grapes we also grew apple trees. We also had a small farm where we grew wheat and rye. My father really was obsessed in making all kinds of liquor, so he planted whatever could be brewed. We were even keeping bees so that we could produce honey so that he could produce mead! Whenever harvest season came, some of the villagers would even go to our place to haul all of the fruit and grain to the storehouse, and then they would be given some of the harvest after everything was finished, and some of them would stay to drink with Father. Every single day of the harvest! I really remember those memories of the smell of ripening fruit within our house, the cheerful voice of my father when he had tasted really good wine from his collection, my cheerful mother who readily cooks everything we boys have hunted, everything about my family and my home. But, all of a sudden..." Father Daniel sensed that Bradwynne was giving in to anger again as he watched him speak, and so he quickly interrupted him.
"...The Daemon of the Blue Flames, am I right?" Father Daniel's face looked a bit stern when he said those words, which made even Bradwynne surprised. He did not expect that the rumor about the bandit gang known as the Daemon of the Blue Flames even reached this city. Was it the reason that that person sent him towards Kiten, so that he could meet this person who knew all about it?
"How do you know about the Daemon of the Blue Flames, Father Daniel?"
Father Daniel clasped his fingers, and then said, "I was ministering within the environs of this city some months ago, travelling through various villages; when I was told of the news that one of the villages I had ministered during those times had been burnt within just one day. What was odd was, there were no survivors after that happened, and so a lot of people speculate that demons had invaded that village, but after some people from the neighboring villages saw the unfortunate village still smoldering with blue flames still burning bright on some houses, it was now speculated that it was the work of the Daemon of the Blue Flames. They were known to be a group of bandits, however no one really knew about what they really looked like. Maybe they ensured that there would be no survivors so that no one knew what did they really look like. It had also came within my attention that a village near Aries Garse that I procure my wine from had also perished due to those bandits. So you are from that village? Do you know Deacon Louis from the church there? That person, may Salamander bless his soul into the afterlife, was a really good friend of mine. How was he when he was still living there?"
As Father Daniel made mention of Deacon Louis, Bradwynne then remembered that fat deacon who was always present when there would be harvest season, who always rearranged the grain fields using his earth magic so that it would be ready for another planting season. Although he was always found in the eventual celebration taking in more food than wine, he certainly was a helpful fellow guiding other people in the path of the Four Gods. Why a person like him had his life cut short while those greedy nobles were living long lives partaking in the mana of every people they killed in every village they torched, was one of those things that made Bradwynne's faith in the Four Gods falter.
"He was a really good man, and also really devoted to Salamander. I am really hoping that his afterlife would be better since he was treated poorly at that life. Why did he, being a really good man, died at the hands of really evil men? Why did my family die, we have been devoted to the Four Gods for a really long time?"
Post by Bradwynne Lambert on Aug 9, 2020 11:14:23 GMT -5
As Father Daniel heard again such words laced with deep resentment and anger, he felt pity on the circumstances of the young man in front of him. It would be really hard for a man of extreme devotion to his belief to be seemingly betrayed by it. No wonder why this man was experiencing deep bouts of anger whenever something reminded him of that event. But, more than any other person, he knew that this would not end in a favorable note for him if he continued in this anger. He had to stop Bradwynne from destroying himself in this way, or else, even the Gods could not help him.
"Bradwynne, granting that you persist in your anger, if your family will see you that way, will they be happy? If Deacon Louis saw you that way, I dare say that even with his girth he would have pinned you to the ground. The only entity that will be happy while you are destroying yourself in anger will not be your family, nor your friends, but the very thing that you hated: the Daemon of the Blue Flames. They wanted you demeaning and destroying yourself and others, so that they will persist in their evil and will not be eventually caught in the hands of justice. Why? Because you, the one who wanted them punished for their wrongdoings, are focusing too much on your anger that you can not think clearly. I dare even think that if not for the Spirits still guiding you in your everyday life, you might have ended up dead in some way or another." Father Daniel said all these while intently staring at Bradwynne. Bradwynne immediately calmed down after that stare.
"But what should I do? I can not sit idly while they are still around doing what they wanted, so please tell me what to do."
Father Daniel continued to speak while still staring intently at Bradwynne. "It is an admirable attitude to actively seek for justice, but to be governed by anger while doing so will just compromise everything that you do or have done. The Spirits really understand what you are going through, but you are being too consumed with anger to think clearly. It will be better if you can govern your anger in such a way that you don't lose your way in what you intend to do. At most, you should reserve your anger when you try to strike something. If you can govern your anger that way, then you will be better guided by the Spirits in seeking what you have been seeking all of your life."
As Father Daniel finished those words, Bradwynne stared at him as if he had understood. As he then contemplated about his actions from that moment on, there were a lot of things that he would have done while he was just wasting his life away with too much anger. In the number of months that he tried to suppress his anger, the Demon of the Blue Flames had attacked yet another village, and if he had been actively pursuing them instead of just moping around, he might have faced the bandits head-on, and if ever, he could drive away those bandits in some instances. His anger had become his undoing, and the anger against the bandits was replaced with an anger towards himself. He could not forgive himself for indulging in his own wrath that his dire enemy had wrecked the lives of other people, some of them might have even been cherished by this person before him. But even then, this person, instead of being really angry about his own mention of the Daemon of the Blue Flames, he seemed really calm, as if he did not mind that those people were killed within his vicinity.
As such, Bradwynne directed the following words towards Father Daniel, "But it might have been my fault why one of the villages under your guardianship was attacked by those bastards! Why can't you be angry about me? Why can't you be angry about them? You knew that they had killed Deacon Louis, and some of those you knew might have been in the village they razed? Did not you feel at least angry about all those?"
But as if Father Daniel had already expected this line of questioning, he then briskly replied, "I am lying if I say I am not angry about all those things, but come to think about it, if I do become angry at them, hate them, will those who are killed by them return back to this world? No, what will only be achieved is hatred, and it serves no purpose whatsoever and it only benefits nothing but those who you hate. You might not even be known by those you hate, let alone care if you hate them."
