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Verena wasn't sure how long she had been running, but it had most certainly been weeks. Maybe a month. It was a long time to get from her family estate to Aristaeus' Basin, after all. The entire time, she cried. She cried her heart out. Her uncle's words cut deeply because she knew the truth.[break][break]

She couldn't change anything in such a short period of time.[break][break]

How could she fix a family as broken as hers? How could she ensure that they wouldn't fall back into these habits once given success? Could she truly bring about the amount of change that she hoped to in so little time? Build upon alliances, earn the trust of powerful families. Become recognizable. Become strong enough to force her family to recognize her talent -- for Clover to recognize her talent -- in such a short amount of time?[break][break]

Verena knew better. Her goals were unattainable. They were unrealistic. And that reality hurt. A saying she grew partial to likened reality to medication. Few truly enjoyed the task of taking their prescribed dosage when they needed it at their most, but if they wouldn't administer it to themselves, life itself would find a way. She supposed Igor Reinsberg's words were that dosage. A reminder of the impossible goal she aspired for.[break][break]

Igor was a smarter man than she realized. Yes, even if she did manage to somehow miraculously bring the family further into greatness, she could not sustain their future. It would take quite some time to bring the family out of their ways, but even longer to ensure that they would live. She had no future as a Reinsberg.[break][break]

That reality was crushing, as Verena finally stopped. She dismissed the golem that had carried her as she ran away. Ran away from home as she did all those years ago. For as awful as Renfir was, for as awful as the family was, it wasn't as if she had no unhappy moments. Her cousins were truly gentle people who were just unfortunate products of their parents.[break][break]

And even then, the older generation was not strictly tyrants. They were not deplorable in all senses. They were desperate, but for the children who excelled, they were praised. Loved. Adored. More than the parents loved themselves. It was why every child pushed themself in this godforsaken family more than in any other. Each wanted to be something more than their parents. Each wanted to accomplish something. Each held the dream that even she had.[break][break]

But they were still children. And the older generation believed that they held the right to be the head of the Reinsberg. Even as large as her family had become, Verena realized that none held more power than the other. For every advantage one had, another had blackmail on them. This perpetual deadlock was why there was still no family head officially. And it was why the family was near the decline.[break][break]

But that didn't matter now. Or perhaps it never did.[break][break]

Verena brought her knees in close, finding a clearing in the Basin that allowed the brunette to rest in the shade. The brutal summer heat couldn't hurt her here. The Basin was her home. It was where she belonged. It was where she wanted to die.[break][break]

"If I can't... if I can't help them... what's the point of my dreams?" she asked quietly, holding her face in her hands as she continued to sob. "Why? Why do things have to be this way? I'm trying... I'm trying so hard. I've become stronger... I know many types of elements. I'm not the weak little girl I was... and yet..."[break][break]

She buried her face in her knees, sobbing uncontrollably.[break][break]

It wasn't fair. She didn't want to die. She didn't want to leave her ambitions behind. She wanted to live a long life, get married, have children. She wanted people to see the Reinsberg family name and feel the same way about it that they did when they saw the Ravencrest name. House Vermillion. She wanted to feel that same way about her family, too.[break][break]

But there wasn't anyone in her family who could carry that mantle. As cruel as Renfir was to her, he was disciplined. He was smart. He was wise. He was skilled. As a mage, his talents were second to none, and his ability to command the family was unquestioned. Even though there were those who did not like him, they respected his talents. That was likely the same for Igor.[break][break]

But what about her? A living corpse on borrowed time. Verena knew she should have probably already died by this point. She saw it every time she saw her reflection. The state her body was in. At best she was delaying the inevitable. Lydia Ravencrest couldn't save her. Ardere Kasai couldn't save her. Satori Ryuutei might have through his Blood Arts, but in doing so would have likely killed himself. She wouldn't let another die so that she may live. Not least of all when they had so much riding on their shoulders.[break][break]

Verena rolled up the sleeves of her white coat. She rolled up the sleeves of her jumpsuit. The marks of her curse writhed and contorted in brutal ways as she watched as it was eating into the muscles of her body. As it chewed through bone. The process was slow. And it was agonizing. But she had no choice but to live with this pain. But to adapt to it.[break][break]

"Father..." she whimpered as she examined the curse.[break][break]

Verena knew that even if she was only a result of the Shattering -- an event that was born out of the Magic Knights failure -- Renfir's hatred for her was so... so much. Was she truly that much of a mistake to him? Was she truly that detestable? So much so that he would subjugate her to a life of constant pain and agony until it finally ate away at her and took her final breath?[break][break]

Verena didn't want that.[break][break]

She didn't want this curse to be her death.[break][break]

If she was going to die, she wanted it to mean something.[break][break]

But ... she also just didn't want to die.[break][break]

Verena wanted to be present for Suna's marriage with Hans. She wanted to see their future. She wanted one of her own. She wanted Vaile Valentine to be able to live free of regret. She just wanted people to be happy... she just wanted to be happy, and live alongside the people whom she had managed to meet and care about.[break][break]

What was the point of a meaningful death if she couldn't see the future that came with it?[break][break]

The Royal Knight exams were coming up, and Verena was scarcely prepared for it. Not like this. She needed to get out of this state. This way of thinking. It was unsightly. At least in the Basin, nobody could see here like this. Nobody could see her cry. Her fears, her worries -- none of it would be seen. Could be heard. It was a Grand Mana Zon and that reason alone was enough to ward most people away from it, despite the impossible beauty of the environment.[break][break]

The fantastical trees that loomed over her, like guardians or watchful spirits that aspired to protect this place from would-be invaders. The fruit offered more than simple sustenance but empowered the consumer. The flowers of indescribable beauty -- vibrant pinks, reds, yellows, purples, blues. Of every conceivable color. The water sparkled like crystals, reflecting the world around it almost like a mirror. This place was truly beautiful.[break][break]

Verena's eyes remained fixated upon her arm. She remembered how everyone always told her how beautiful she was. How gorgeous she was. That she would become a fine young lady. When traveling, the praises only became more and more. Strangers were so quick to hit on her. But she knew better. She knew if they saw this curse, this branding that exposed her own dying body, they would run from her. View her as unsightly... as though she was some sort of freak.[break][break]

Verena knew this because there wasn't a day where she didn't feel that way. Maybe she could be as beautiful as they thought of her if she didn't have this curse. Maybe she could be as beautiful as the likes of Lydia Ravencrest or Rosalia Borealis if she wasn't cursed. She wondered what that would be like. To have the strength and confidence of both women. She couldn't imagine it.[break][break]

Verena rolled down her sleeves, staring at her arm in disgust as she wiped her tears from her face, rubbing them against her sleeve, staring emptily at the ground. "...What's the point...?" she asked herself.[break][break]

"...I'm just going to die. Nobody will remember me. Nobody will remember me. My family's going to fall apart, and I can't stop it..." she whimpered. "Maybe I should just..."

"Carbon Restraining Magic: Frenzied Chain Dance" Verena mused softly.[break][break]

A single chain sprung up from her grimoire, latching around the tree securely. The chain was quite a bit above the ground; if she wanted to reach it, then she would have to raise the elevation a bit, something she was able to do with a simple construct of carbon to give her that push. The brunette was able to manipulate this "chain" in such a manner that she was able to create a knot near the bottom. A hangman's knot.[break][break]

What did she have left? What did she look forward to? She had always preached about living. About needing to live at all costs. How upset it made her when she saw the likes of Vaile who seemed like at any moment, he would just... but she understood just a bit better now. What other dreams could she have when all that awaited her was certain death? An unavoidable death that nobody could stop. It would be better if she just ended it all. To stop the pain. To stop her body from falling apart. To die on her own terms, and not succumb to that awful curse.[break][break]

Yet as Verena built a platform of carbon to raise herself higher, as she stared at the noose she had made for herself, she began to think. She began to wonder. Would Suna miss her? Would she be upset with her? What would Vaile do if he found out? She didn't know. No, she just didn't want to think of the answers. That stared into the world outside of that circular loop. The world past this gateway to certain death.[break][break]

...yes, Aristaeus' Basin was a gorgeous place. The brunette smiled softly as tears began flowing down. No, she couldn't do it. She couldn't go through with this. She couldn't sully such a beautiful place with a worthless corpse as her own. She couldn't turn her back on the people she loved and cared about, not like this.[break][break]

Verena's spells all came falling apart as she fell hard onto the ground. The thud was impactful, enough to possibly break some of her already fragile bones.[break][break]

It hurt. It hurt so much. But that pain was only for an instant. Her vision was going dark, and then...[break][break]

nothing.

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