Post by Margaux on Sept 11, 2020 21:18:02 GMT -5
"Ph’nglui, Ph’nglui... I am very hungry..."
Margaux crouched down behind some bushes holding some branches with leaves to either side of her as camouflage. About fifteen yards in front of the girl was a basket held up by a stick attached to a string. Under the basket, Margaux had placed an assortment of berries.
"I should have taken more food from the vendor... but these pockets can only fit so much. Maybe it's time I get a bag to carry things around in... oh well. At least I have set up my trap. What? You need to speak up. Ah, yes. The trap seems just perfect doesn't it, Ph’nglui? Quite ingenious. A rather simple contraption... a basket held aloft by a stick attached to a rope... yet sufficiently adept enough to catch some meager thing, Ph’nglui. Who knows, maybe I'll even catch an idiot looking for berries. Oh, probably not... it will most assuredly be some small creature or animal. What? Yes, yes, yes, whatever it is I will eat it. I'm very hungry after all, Ph’nglui. No! Of course I won't eat it raw! That's disgusting... it will be cooked appropriately and most assuredly! Now hush, we need to keep our eyes on the trap. We don't want to miss our chance."
Suddenly, from behind a tree a rather large rabbit hopped out.
"Ah, there it is... our prize. Unfortunate though... it is quite adorable. It's almost a shame, Ph’nglui, but then again I suppose if it wasn't me dining on it, it would be some wolf or other creature, or perhaps even time... the apex predator of all. What? Don't get philosophical? Ah... Ph’nglui, Ph’nglui, did I say something so brilliant you couldn't even grasp it?"
Margaux looked to her right and grinned. As far as any outsider could see, there was no one and nothing there. With a sigh, Margaux turned back to the rabbit.
"Still, I can't feel a little sorry for it, but of course it's arrival was foretold by the Eldritch formula Ph’nglui. It's a shame that only I can understand that abomination of the one true math that explains all. It would be ever so refreshing to be able to pick away at the madness that encases such a dastardly math... but I suppose that's just the way it is when you're a true genius. Compared to that, Ph’nglui, this is nothing, simply the measurement of the speed of the wind against the speed of the smell of blueberries, plus the optimal angle to face the trap so the scent reaches the area that is most likely to be teeming with edible animals just waiting to be devoured, Ph’nglui."
The rabbit, smelling the berries, hopped forward slowly to the trap.
"Yes, shhh, shhh, quiet now. It's coming. Rabbits have excellent hearing and you don't want to startle it with your nonsense, Ph’nglui. Hush and let it fall into my waiting claws..."
Hopping a few more times towards the berries, Margaux held her breath. This was it, the moment her genius would once again be made plain to the world.
"Closer... closer... yes....Ph’nglui..."
A bird's cry filled the area and suddenly the rabbit froze in it's tracks.
"Wait... what... could it by my calculations were off? No... this is your doing isn't it? The unknown variable! You've invoked the dark negative! When you knew I was starving!"
Diving from the sky, the bird grasped the rabbit in it's great talons before the rabbit could get more than two hops away, then began to take flight.
"NO! I REFUSE TO BOW BEFORE THE UNKNOWN! I WILL DELETE THE VARIABLE AND RE-BALANCE THE EQUATION PH'NGLUI!"
Jumping out from the bush, Margaux rushed forward.
"Judging by coordinates... carry the one... subtract by imaginary and divide by what is thought impossible Ph'nglui... there! "
Margaux brought out her grimoire, a strange book with inky looking circles the almost seemed to undulate. In center of the tome was the four leaf grimoire that marked this as one of the rarest grimoires in existence.
"Through the absolute destruction of my Devils' Fire... Ph'nglui... I will snip this introduced chaos at the root! Center Halifax times Ketch Axis Arcane and Beauty!"
Seconds later, seemingly from nowhere, a pyramid-shaped rift of black fire opened with the bird directly at it's center. When the rift vanished... so did the bird and the rabbit. Margaux grinned evilly.
"There... Ph'nglui... now the equation has once again become null. Or should I say void! Oh, are you cackling? You liked the joke? Well, I still haven't forgiven you. The variables were in line and perfect until you had to go and bring in the dark negative. Now I'm once again hungry, Ph'nglui!"
Suddenly, from a different direction a squirrel scampered out towards the trap.
"Ah... there! You see! Once the dark negative, the chaos of the random is nipped, Ph'nglui, the equation plays out beautifully like a symphony!"
The squirrel, smelling the berries, dashed for towards the trap.
"One... zero... now!"
The timing was, the trap, everything was calculated to perfection, but as Margaux pulled the string nothing happened and in that instant the squirrel stole the blueberry and retreated back into the brush.
"THE DARK VARIABLE! AGAIN! AGAIN YOU VEX ME WITH YOUR DARK NEGATIVES AND ELDER NUMBERS! CENTER HALIFAX TIMES KETCH AXIS ARCANE AND BEAUTY!"
As before, the pyramid shaped rift of black flame took form, this time over the brush the squirrel had scampered into. As the pyramid came into being all flora, trees, brushes, grasses, and the like simply vanished. As if they had all been cut precisely out of reality.
"YOU! YOU AND YOUR DAMNED MEDDLING! EVEN NOW, WHEN YOU KNOW HOW I STARVE! PH'NGLUI! I CRAVE SUSTENANCE, AND STILL YOU MEDDLE! WHAT?! OF COURSE IT WASN'T MY FAULT! THE LINE WAS TIED PERFECTLY, YOU MUST HAVE UNDONE THE LINE WHEN I WASN'T LOOKING PH'NGLUI! YOU MUST HAVE! What? Of course it was you, who else could it have been? You've forgotten that you are tangling with a genius, in fact, the only genius in the world that can make use of the Eldritch Formula Ph'nglui. Now what is that you're saying? You apologize. Very well. Then if you're done with your games I suppose we should just go elsewhere. My calculations deem this trap has spent. No other animals will willingly fall for this Ph'nglui."
Leaving her hiding spot, Margaux trotted out to the trap kicking the basket away and hungrily shoving some of the berries into her mouth.
"Yes, yes. I could have eaten these all along, but why eat berries when meat is so abundant? Now I'm forced to settle for mediocrity due to your trifling. Such a vexing entity you are, Ph'nglui."
Wiping the berry juice from her mouth on her forearm, Margaux stopped.
"But you know... a trap... that could be quite effective... yes a trap made not for catching meat, but enemies... Ph'nglui, Ph'nglui...."
Bending down, Margaux began tracing signs in the dirt.
"It's quite simple really. You identify the abstract, the subtle gluttony that filters itself through the every hungry maw of void, Ph'nglui. You tease out it's reach, promise it presents if you will... and then..."
Drawing a circle with runes that looked as if they were carved by a mad man, Margaux took two steps back, picked up a stick and lightly tossed it.
"When the void smells the bait, the demon's fire is unleashed like a starving tongue, Ph'nglui."
As the stick hit trap, a cylinder shaped rift of black flame instantly shot up. When the rift closed the stick was gone.
"Simple... and yet... Ph'nglui... poor for hunting as it leaves nothing left. Yes? Of course this will be quite the tool for my arsenal. With this ability I shall control the battlefield to an extent none, not even the righteous Magic Knights, will have ever encountered. But of course, this is how it should be. I am the prime villain of this story after all... Ph'nglui, Ph'nglui."
Picking up the rest of the berries, Margaux wandered on in the direction she thought there might be a town, which was of course in the complete opposite direction of the actual town. What? Yes, yes, yes, whatever it is I will eat it. I'm very hungry after all."
WC: 1370
Margaux crouched down behind some bushes holding some branches with leaves to either side of her as camouflage. About fifteen yards in front of the girl was a basket held up by a stick attached to a string. Under the basket, Margaux had placed an assortment of berries.
"I should have taken more food from the vendor... but these pockets can only fit so much. Maybe it's time I get a bag to carry things around in... oh well. At least I have set up my trap. What? You need to speak up. Ah, yes. The trap seems just perfect doesn't it, Ph’nglui? Quite ingenious. A rather simple contraption... a basket held aloft by a stick attached to a rope... yet sufficiently adept enough to catch some meager thing, Ph’nglui. Who knows, maybe I'll even catch an idiot looking for berries. Oh, probably not... it will most assuredly be some small creature or animal. What? Yes, yes, yes, whatever it is I will eat it. I'm very hungry after all, Ph’nglui. No! Of course I won't eat it raw! That's disgusting... it will be cooked appropriately and most assuredly! Now hush, we need to keep our eyes on the trap. We don't want to miss our chance."
Suddenly, from behind a tree a rather large rabbit hopped out.
"Ah, there it is... our prize. Unfortunate though... it is quite adorable. It's almost a shame, Ph’nglui, but then again I suppose if it wasn't me dining on it, it would be some wolf or other creature, or perhaps even time... the apex predator of all. What? Don't get philosophical? Ah... Ph’nglui, Ph’nglui, did I say something so brilliant you couldn't even grasp it?"
Margaux looked to her right and grinned. As far as any outsider could see, there was no one and nothing there. With a sigh, Margaux turned back to the rabbit.
"Still, I can't feel a little sorry for it, but of course it's arrival was foretold by the Eldritch formula Ph’nglui. It's a shame that only I can understand that abomination of the one true math that explains all. It would be ever so refreshing to be able to pick away at the madness that encases such a dastardly math... but I suppose that's just the way it is when you're a true genius. Compared to that, Ph’nglui, this is nothing, simply the measurement of the speed of the wind against the speed of the smell of blueberries, plus the optimal angle to face the trap so the scent reaches the area that is most likely to be teeming with edible animals just waiting to be devoured, Ph’nglui."
The rabbit, smelling the berries, hopped forward slowly to the trap.
"Yes, shhh, shhh, quiet now. It's coming. Rabbits have excellent hearing and you don't want to startle it with your nonsense, Ph’nglui. Hush and let it fall into my waiting claws..."
Hopping a few more times towards the berries, Margaux held her breath. This was it, the moment her genius would once again be made plain to the world.
"Closer... closer... yes....Ph’nglui..."
A bird's cry filled the area and suddenly the rabbit froze in it's tracks.
"Wait... what... could it by my calculations were off? No... this is your doing isn't it? The unknown variable! You've invoked the dark negative! When you knew I was starving!"
Diving from the sky, the bird grasped the rabbit in it's great talons before the rabbit could get more than two hops away, then began to take flight.
"NO! I REFUSE TO BOW BEFORE THE UNKNOWN! I WILL DELETE THE VARIABLE AND RE-BALANCE THE EQUATION PH'NGLUI!"
Jumping out from the bush, Margaux rushed forward.
"Judging by coordinates... carry the one... subtract by imaginary and divide by what is thought impossible Ph'nglui... there! "
Margaux brought out her grimoire, a strange book with inky looking circles the almost seemed to undulate. In center of the tome was the four leaf grimoire that marked this as one of the rarest grimoires in existence.
"Through the absolute destruction of my Devils' Fire... Ph'nglui... I will snip this introduced chaos at the root! Center Halifax times Ketch Axis Arcane and Beauty!"
Seconds later, seemingly from nowhere, a pyramid-shaped rift of black fire opened with the bird directly at it's center. When the rift vanished... so did the bird and the rabbit. Margaux grinned evilly.
"There... Ph'nglui... now the equation has once again become null. Or should I say void! Oh, are you cackling? You liked the joke? Well, I still haven't forgiven you. The variables were in line and perfect until you had to go and bring in the dark negative. Now I'm once again hungry, Ph'nglui!"
Suddenly, from a different direction a squirrel scampered out towards the trap.
"Ah... there! You see! Once the dark negative, the chaos of the random is nipped, Ph'nglui, the equation plays out beautifully like a symphony!"
The squirrel, smelling the berries, dashed for towards the trap.
"One... zero... now!"
The timing was, the trap, everything was calculated to perfection, but as Margaux pulled the string nothing happened and in that instant the squirrel stole the blueberry and retreated back into the brush.
"THE DARK VARIABLE! AGAIN! AGAIN YOU VEX ME WITH YOUR DARK NEGATIVES AND ELDER NUMBERS! CENTER HALIFAX TIMES KETCH AXIS ARCANE AND BEAUTY!"
As before, the pyramid shaped rift of black flame took form, this time over the brush the squirrel had scampered into. As the pyramid came into being all flora, trees, brushes, grasses, and the like simply vanished. As if they had all been cut precisely out of reality.
"YOU! YOU AND YOUR DAMNED MEDDLING! EVEN NOW, WHEN YOU KNOW HOW I STARVE! PH'NGLUI! I CRAVE SUSTENANCE, AND STILL YOU MEDDLE! WHAT?! OF COURSE IT WASN'T MY FAULT! THE LINE WAS TIED PERFECTLY, YOU MUST HAVE UNDONE THE LINE WHEN I WASN'T LOOKING PH'NGLUI! YOU MUST HAVE! What? Of course it was you, who else could it have been? You've forgotten that you are tangling with a genius, in fact, the only genius in the world that can make use of the Eldritch Formula Ph'nglui. Now what is that you're saying? You apologize. Very well. Then if you're done with your games I suppose we should just go elsewhere. My calculations deem this trap has spent. No other animals will willingly fall for this Ph'nglui."
Leaving her hiding spot, Margaux trotted out to the trap kicking the basket away and hungrily shoving some of the berries into her mouth.
"Yes, yes. I could have eaten these all along, but why eat berries when meat is so abundant? Now I'm forced to settle for mediocrity due to your trifling. Such a vexing entity you are, Ph'nglui."
Wiping the berry juice from her mouth on her forearm, Margaux stopped.
"But you know... a trap... that could be quite effective... yes a trap made not for catching meat, but enemies... Ph'nglui, Ph'nglui...."
Bending down, Margaux began tracing signs in the dirt.
"It's quite simple really. You identify the abstract, the subtle gluttony that filters itself through the every hungry maw of void, Ph'nglui. You tease out it's reach, promise it presents if you will... and then..."
Drawing a circle with runes that looked as if they were carved by a mad man, Margaux took two steps back, picked up a stick and lightly tossed it.
"When the void smells the bait, the demon's fire is unleashed like a starving tongue, Ph'nglui."
As the stick hit trap, a cylinder shaped rift of black flame instantly shot up. When the rift closed the stick was gone.
"Simple... and yet... Ph'nglui... poor for hunting as it leaves nothing left. Yes? Of course this will be quite the tool for my arsenal. With this ability I shall control the battlefield to an extent none, not even the righteous Magic Knights, will have ever encountered. But of course, this is how it should be. I am the prime villain of this story after all... Ph'nglui, Ph'nglui."
Picking up the rest of the berries, Margaux wandered on in the direction she thought there might be a town, which was of course in the complete opposite direction of the actual town. What? Yes, yes, yes, whatever it is I will eat it. I'm very hungry after all."
WC: 1370
