In this world, Magic is Everything. All people, all races, are granted with the power to perform mystical and magical feats via grimories, mystical tomes granted to each and every child on their 15th birthday. Those blessed by the mana can have their names written down in legend.
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Name of Spell:Paper knight Element: Paper Rank:Junior Mana Cost: 10/5 Type of Golem: Guardian Applicable Perks: n/a Description:
Raising his left hand to his right shoulder, Clifford will swing out his arm, keeping it parallel to his shoulder as a white 52-inch seal forms. From this seal, a flurry of papers will swirl and twist, folding in all directions and lengths, as from the flurry of papers, a 4-meter-tall paper knight forms from the flurry. Its various folds and grooves show an armor appearance, including a faceless helmet with streamers of paper flowing from the top, almost like hair. While this golem is on the slower side and is more for defense than attack, it can still hit an enemy for Junior damage. With Ammo Rules, Additional Origami Golems can be created, Capping at 5
Type
Power
Durability
Sensory
Range
Speed
Health
Guardian
20
25
10
10m
3 m/s
Intermediate
Name of Spell: Paper Wagon Elemental Type: Paper Rank & Spell Type:Junior, Supplementary Construct (transportation) Range & Speed:25 Meters, 10m/s Mana Cost:10/5 Stats Effected:n/a Applicable Perks: Pack Mule
Description: To activated Clifford snaps his index and middle finger against his thumb two times before speaking the name of this spell. A small ball of paper rapidly grows and expands in size as it fold and creases itself into the shape of a wagon. Being about 3m long with four spoke wheels. Within the wagon holds sitting for three people due to the pack mule perk along with carrying an increase weight of 5 percent more along with the ability to fly or move via on the ground. This transport moves at 10 m/s
If an oncoming attack spell of the same rank as the construct, then an attack of 5 or more attack points than the construct's durability would damage the construct and bring the spell down one rank, causing it to get destroyed after two attacks of the same caliber. If the attack is 10+ more attack than the construct's durability, the construct is then destroyed in one hit. If an oncoming attack spell that is one rank lower than the construct, then an attack with 5 or more points than the construct's durability would damage the construct and bring the spell down one rank, causing it to get destroyed after two attacks of the same caliber. If the attack is 10+ more attack than the construct's durability, the construct is then destroyed in one hit.
Last Edit: Apr 17, 2024 19:53:17 GMT -5 by clifford
- You are gonna need to put your tracker under your profile or in your signature as they will not be graded moving forward - All your spells have the same activation, so this is gonna have to change - Pages would not fly out of your grimoire - Paper isn't translucent so this needs changed - Your golems are gonna need more detail in what they look like - Golems can not have knockback - As you do not have the advanced perk puppet master you do not get the +5 you would with it - As you do not have the perk sage of golem you only have access to one golem type - Your golem spells are missing details such as max limit - Your golem spells have the wrong stats so please check them over - Next to your supplementary construct spell please state which aspect you are using for the spec - You are missing details in your supplementary construct spell - Your supplementary construct spell needs more detail
When all of these things are fixed feel free to put them back up for grading and we'll get back to you as soon as humanly possible
Post by Hania Ravencrest✾ on Apr 17, 2024 5:26:43 GMT -5
Hi I'll be grading you this time around
Origami Knight
- You have several spelling mistakes so if you could go over it and fix those - You do not have an element that glows so if you could remove anything that says that - You can not give sword or shield to golems, the reason for this is because the advanced perk armament is meant to allow you to equip such spells so long as you have them as spells. - please use meters, not feet if you want to use the metric system please put it in brackets - I would take away the coral peacock emblem you do not possess an oddity that would allow such a thing - In your table you didn't add what kind of golem it is, it still says type
Origami Horse Buggy
- You have several spelling mistakes so if you could go over it and fix those - You do not have an element that glows so if you could remove anything that says that - Which hand are you thrusting forward? - I'd rework your trigger as anytime you thrust your hand forward it's going to activate this spell - You can't make portals so please reword this - How big is the horse? and how big is the wagon? Please remember that a junior spell can not be any bigger than 3m - Could you give more detail on what the wagon looks like? For example does it look like a cart or does it have a cover - please use meters, not feet if you want to use the metric system please put it in brackets - 3 feet is just over 1 meter how are people expected to get on that wagon?
When these issues are fixed please put them back up for grading and we will get back to you as soon as humanly possible.
Post by Amaya Ravencrest✾ on Apr 17, 2024 9:55:57 GMT -5
Hello I will be grading you today:
Origami Golem
Mana Cost: 10 m 5 sustain
Make it 'Mana cost: 10/5' you don't need the put the M and sustain
To activate the spell Clifford flips to the page of his grimoire where the spell is located. He then calls forth the spell and circles. His right hand in a clockwise motion over the correct page of his book. Once this has done a white spell circle appears and the paper golem manifests and appears within the spell circle
Your activation is hard to understand so I would reword it to make it a bit easier to understand
The golden stands about four meters tall. Starting out at its feet, it looks to be just a few stacks of paper. However, when you get to the top of the stacks, they start to fold and bend. Starting to go upward, creating the hulking frame and body that is the paper golem. There isn't a lot of detail to the golem other than the jagged points towards its head, so no one can mistake it as a person. It can do simple tasks and move at a pace of three meters a second, with a max limit of five
Again you have some spelling error or words that make this confusing just like "golden' I think you mean 'golem'.
You really need to tell me what this golem is. No one is going to mistaken it as a person as it is a thing made of papers from your grimoire.
Also it seems incomplete as it just says "with a max limit of five" five what? People? speed? what?
while i see what you are wishing to do it doesnt read as this perk will be usable for this spell as is so rewording might make it clear
Clifford turns to the correct page in his book. Putting his right hand on the page and calling out the spell will cause a white spell circle to appear on the ground. As the spell circle appears up to three horses can appear within the circle.
From the bottom going up, horses hoves look like small post it notes. Much like his golem starting at the ankles they start to curve, bend, twist, and fold forming into a two meter tall two meter long riding horse. The horses have no spectacular amount of detail other than two things. The back is curved down a little bit to make it comfortable for a rider to sit on it. And there are little slits on each side of the horse for you to put your feet into. Yes, can be adjusted when the horse is summoned depending on the size of the rider. A choice can only support one rider at a time and thile the pack mule perk would allow them to carry up to five percent more weight they have no way to carry item. That is on the rider, though Much like a regular horse. There is space on the back if you were to acquire saddlebags or something similar.
The activation is fine other then you summon one golem per spell other then through the ammo rules, which need stated
Rewritting it might help make this spell a bit easier to understand as it is very all over the place.
Also these horses are golems not sup con. your transports are actual things like wings, chariots etc.
when done put it back up and we will get to it as soon as possible
Post by Amaya Ravencrest✾ on Apr 17, 2024 19:13:14 GMT -5
Hello Dojo I will be grading you again.
When we are grading spells we wish you to make edits to the original concept as the first up is fine it just needs some tweaks, but the past 4 grades have been of brand new spells. So each and every time I or someone grade, we have to do everything from scratch instead of seeing if the one before was edited as requested.
I personally can not accept the spells as is because they are not that detailed. You write them as one thing but your wordings are not the best so here is my suggestion to writing your Actual spell and how it should look. You may use this spell as it is as it is more approval example for future references:
Name of Spell:Paper knight Element: Paper Rank:Junior Mana Cost: 10/5 Type of Golem: Guardian Applicable Perks: n/a Description:
Raising his left hand to his right shoulder, Clifford will swing out his arm, keeping it parallel to his shoulder as a white 52-inch seal forms. From this seal, a flurry of papers will swirl and twist, folding in all directions and lengths, as from the flurry of papers, a 4-meter-tall paper knight forms from the flurry. Its various folds and grooves show an armor appearance, including a faceless helmet with streamers of paper flowing from the top, almost like hair. While this golem is on the slower side and is more for defense than attack, it can still hit an enemy for Junior damage. With Ammo Rules, Additional Origami Golems can be created, Capping at 5
Type
Power
Durability
Sensory
Range
Speed
Health
Guardian
20
25
10
10m
3 m/s
Intermediate
Name of Spell: Paper Glider Elemental Type: Paper Rank & Spell Type:Junior, Supplementary Construct (transportation) Range & Speed:25 Meters, 10m/s Mana Cost:10/5 Stats Effected:n/a Applicable Perks: Pack Mule
Description: To activated Clifford snaps his index and middle finger against his thumb two times before speaking the name of this spell. A small ball of paper rapidly grows and expands in size as it fold and creases itself into the shape of a wagon. Being about 3m long with four spoke wheels. Within the wagon holds sitting for three people due to the pack mule perk along with carrying an increase weight of 5 percent more along with the ability to fly or move via on the ground. This transport only goes 10 m/s
If an oncoming attack spell of the same rank as the construct, then an attack of 5 or more attack points than the construct's durability would damage the construct and bring the spell down one rank, causing it to get destroyed after two attacks of the same caliber. If the attack is 10+ more attack than the construct's durability, the construct is then destroyed in one hit. If an oncoming attack spell that is one rank lower than the construct, then an attack with 5 or more points than the construct's durability would damage the construct and bring the spell down one rank, causing it to get destroyed after two attacks of the same caliber. If the attack is 10+ more attack than the construct's durability, the construct is then destroyed in one hit.
[b]Name of Spell:[/b]Paper knight [b]Element:[/b] Paper [b]Rank:[/b]Junior [b]Mana Cost:[/b] 10/5 [b]Type of Golem:[/b] Guardian [b]Applicable Perks:[/b] n/a [b]Description:[/b]
Raising his left hand to his right shoulder, Clifford will swing out his arm, keeping it parallel to his shoulder as a white 52-inch seal forms. From this seal, a flurry of papers will swirl and twist, folding in all directions and lengths, as from the flurry of papers, a 4-meter-tall paper knight forms from the flurry. Its various folds and grooves show an armor appearance, including a faceless helmet with streamers of paper flowing from the top, almost like hair. While this golem is on the slower side and is more for defense than attack, it can still hit an enemy for Junior damage. With Ammo Rules, Additional Origami Golems can be created, Capping at 5
[b]Name of Spell:[/b] Paper Glider [b]Elemental Type:[/b] Paper [b]Rank & Spell Type:[/b]Junior, Supplementary Construct (transportation) [b]Range & Speed:[/b]25 Meters, 10m/s [b]Mana Cost:[/b]10/5 [b]Stats Effected:[/b]n/a [b]Applicable Perks:[/b] Pack Mule
[b]Description:[/b] To activated Clifford snaps his index and middle finger against his thumb two times before speaking the name of this spell. A small ball of paper rapidly grows and expands in size as it fold and creases itself into the shape of a wagon. Being about 3m long with four spoke wheels. Within the wagon holds sitting for three people due to the pack mule perk along with carrying an increase weight of 5 percent more along with the ability to fly or move via on the ground. This transport moves at 10 m/s
If an oncoming attack spell of the same rank as the construct, then an attack of 5 or more attack points than the construct's durability would damage the construct and bring the spell down one rank, causing it to get destroyed after two attacks of the same caliber. If the attack is 10+ more attack than the construct's durability, the construct is then destroyed in one hit. If an oncoming attack spell that is one rank lower than the construct, then an attack with 5 or more points than the construct's durability would damage the construct and bring the spell down one rank, causing it to get destroyed after two attacks of the same caliber. If the attack is 10+ more attack than the construct's durability, the construct is then destroyed in one hit.